When life throws you a curve ball, what do you normally tend to do with it? Do you hold onto it or do you try your best to accept it and let it go? You see, life is bound to deliver us situations that are out of our control, and when that happens, practicing radical acceptance can be very beneficial towards easing the pain and getting things back on track.
What Is Radical Acceptance?
Radical acceptance is the ability to accept situations that are outside of your control without judgment which than helps to reduce the suffering correlated with them.
Detaching yourself from pain doesn’t mean that you don’t have feelings or emotions, it means you are setting the intention of not allowing the pain you’re feeling to turn into suffering.
Through the practice of radical acceptance, what you’re doing is paying attention to the thoughts that enter your mind, identifying where they are coming from and how much space they are occupying (are they causing more pain?). It’s then the act of accepting the reality of the situation for what it is and not allowing yourself to become caught up in the negative emotions of that reality.
Radical acceptance is NOT giving approval, but rather it’s accepting with your whole that the present situation can not be changed, even if we don’t like it.
I would like to note that not every situation is appropriate to practice radical acceptance. There are situations that actually require more of a change rather than acceptance of the reality. This could involve things like if you are being bullied, in a toxic relationship, going through a burnout, or situations that you could make a change to improve it.
Just as there are inappropriate times to use radical acceptance, there are many appropriate times too. These involve situations like if you’re going through a breakup, a job loss or loss of a loved one. If you are avoiding your emotions, getting stuck in the negative mind cycle etc.
When used in the right way, radical acceptance can help you live more at peace and with less suffering.
What Does It Look Like?
Radical acceptance is a life-long practice. It’s not something that’s easy to learn or only takes one night. It’s a part of reframing how you think and handle situations, so it’s bound to take some time, practice and patience.
Self-compassion during this practice is also very important. Again, focusing on the negative is not going to help you move forward.
Radical acceptance is used when you are unable to fix or change a situation, like losing a job or a loved one. Although disappointment and grief are normal emotions, when the pain from a situations prolongs due to lack of acceptance, that’s when it becomes suffering, and that’s when it starts to take up too much space in your life.
The key is to accept the reality (even when it feels impossible) and not fight against it. Not trying to help your emotions will only delay the healing and cause more suffering.
Again friends, this is definitely not an easy process but it definitely is an important one for allowing you to continue living a good life.
Lack of Acceptance Statements Vs. Coping Statements
I wish I could change this situation. — I can only control the present moment.
Things shouldn’t be like this. — I can’t change the past.
I can’t deal with this. — I can get through difficult emotions even if they’re hard.
Bad things always happen to me. — What I’m dealing with right now is hard but it is temporary.
I’m never going to feel okay about this — It’s possible for me to accept this reality and still be happy.
How To Practice Radical Acceptance In Your Life
- Pay attention to your thoughts and if you are allowing space for acceptance.
- Check into your emotional wellness & how your body is feeling.
- Accept that life comes with challenges but also many great times aswell.
- Try journaling and self-reflection to understand your emotions better.
- Journal out coping statements (like the ones above) to help you through the hard times.
- Practice living in the now through mindfulness.
- Prioritize your self-care.
- Practice empathy to better accept/understand others.
- Identify the area’s of your life that you are having a hard time accepting.
- Create a plan of action for how you can get yourself to acceptance.
- Let go of the need to control situations.
- Practice positive self-talk and self-compassion.
- Allow yourself to let go of the “what’s ifs”
- Practice deep breathing, allowing thoughts to come and go.
- Practice radical acceptance on the daily to make the habit easier.
Radical acceptance is definitely a good tool to keep in your toolkit. Learning how to accept reality for what it is, identify how we are feeling and reduce the amount of pain and suffering we endure during hard times is all definitely important.
By allowing yourself to feel without pushing against the current, you are also allowing yourself to move forward and continue to live your life, despite the situations you can’t control. And that right there, is powerful.
Tiffanie
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